,, When people don’t like themselves very much, they have to make up for it. The classic bully, was actually a victim first “
– Tom Hiddleston –
Here is another article written by our friend Dr.Cherrye Vasquez and I totally agree with her.It is so true that both, the victim and the bully need support. In my opinion the bully try this way to get attention,, it is a way of manifesting his frustration or fears.Someone was talking about isolate the bully and I don’t think this is the case, this will not make the bully a better person.Anyway lets see what Dr.Cherrye has to say she really know more on this subject.
Are We Supporting the Child Bully Too Much?
Problem Statement: Someone made this similar statement to me: The bully will continue because we stick up for this child too much while lacking support for the victim. This person ended the statement by saying: “Remember the times when people care?”
Answer to Problem Statement: Actually, I believe in supporting both children – the victim and the perpetrator. Please don’t get this “twisted.” What I mean by this is we need to STOP the bully by intervening giving this child the tools needed to realize how wrong he/she is. We need to build a sense of care, remorsefulness and compassion within this child – somehow.
I have to wonder if we began to nurture this child’s issues, if we’d “settle the storm” a bit.
Can we find out the core of this child’s problem? What’s troubling this child? What went wrong in his/her life? Are the problems stemming from home life? Is this child being bullied at school/home? Does this child come from a dysfunctional family? Where is the anger coming from?
Granted, I realize not all children who bully appear to have social or social economic issues. Some families hide issues really well. Some children may not be physically abused, but verbally abused, which is just as bad for a child’s ego and self-esteem in many respects.
I don’t believe that children come into this world as bullies. Something shaped or prompted this action. Regardless of the antecedent, we must attempt to help this child stop what he/she is doing. This child must realize that he/she can obtain and maintain appropriate social skills. This child must realize that he/she can stomp out anger, have friends, and live a socially acceptable life.
You bet. I’m rallying for the victim (the child being bullied), but I’m also rallying for change within the heart and mind of the perpetrator (the child bully).
I act upon and verbalize this because as an Anti-Bully Advocate I truly CARE.
Author: Cherrye S. Vasquez, Ph.D.
Platform Topics: Bully & Diversity issues
No Tildes on Tuesday
Clique, Clique Stop (coming soon)
Affirmation Daybook: Journal
Diversity Daybook: Journal
Guess What? Dear Diary, (co-created with daughter)
- Awakenings: The Bull & The Bully (catnipoflife.wordpress.com)
- StopBullying.org (tevangelista13.wordpress.com)
- Study Finds Parents Underestimate The Frequency of Cyber Bullying (counselheal.com)
- Help from Boys Town to Protect Your Child from Bullying (prweb.com)
- ,,We must start somewhere” – Stop Bullying- Dr.Cherrye Vasquez (authorspromotion.wordpress.com)
- 10 Tips for Dealing with a Teacher-Bully (drdeborahserani.blogspot.com)
- How To Tell When Your Child Is Being Bullied (valkery1007.wordpress.com)
- “Bullying Prevention Month” How to prevent your children from being bullied. (kfor.com)
- Discrimination and bullying-Help each other,stand up,speak up (authorspromotion.wordpress.com)
- Dr. Chloe Carmichael Talks Today to NoBullying.com about Adult… (prweb.com)